Purpose Through Partnership
“They each think the other is a gift from God” - My Sister-in-law
Reality Check
I met Meredith during our sophomore year of college. She was in the dorm room next to mine, and our initial interaction was unassuming. I did not know I was meeting my wife at the time. Our friend groups co-mingled and we shared classes. We became good friends and confidants for one another. We enjoyed each other’s company.
During my junior year, I was losing my way. I was participating more in my “extracurriculars” rather than in my school work. I slept in, and missed classes. I spent most evenings slack jawed watching animal documentaries. Thank you, David Attenborough. My GPA was slipping, and my post college plans were as firm as a warm marshmallow.
This is when Meredith intervened. She made it very clear that I was wasting my potential. She told me to get myself together.
Alignment of Incentives
Meredith and I started to formally date in the beginning of senior year. We were already best friends, so this was an easy transition for us. I applied to medical school that year, and when I got my first admission, Meredith was the first person I told. She was so proud of me.
We maintained our relationship while I was in Rochester and she was on Long Island. We spoke every single day and made a concerted effort to see each other at least once a month. Over the course of three years, it became clear that we shared important values. We both were intrinsically motivated and wanted fulfilling lives. We both valued our families. We shared the same love for food, travel, and culture. Above all, we loved to make each other laugh. Few things make me happier than making her smile and laugh.
In my last year of medical school, I proposed to Meredith. Getting married at 25 placed us in the youngest segment of married couples in our social circles, but it was the best decision of my life. From then on, we had a common purpose: support each other. She was my cheerleader and I was hers. A win for her, was a win for me and vice-versa. By having a partner with aligned values and incentives, we moved through life like a well aimed arrow. Anything we set our minds to, we promised to help each other achieve.
Parenting as a Duo
The greatest culmination of our marriage was having Luca. This was also an impossibility for me without Meredith. I know there are single parent households in the world, but I personally cannot imagine trying to raise a child alone. Having a baby is physically and mentally demanding. I am sure it would have broken me if I was by myself. With the two of us, we are able to divide and conquer. This way we can avoid burnout, and we can remain thoughtful and engaged parents.
I am so very thankful that I have a partner like Meredith. I use the word partner very intentionally because it describes our relationship best. I support her with all of my being, and I know that she has my back no matter what. This gives me the confidence and strength to tackle my greatest challenges. I know with absolute certainty that if I hadn’t met her, and married her, that I would be in a very different place in my life.
I am very lucky to have married my best friend.